Petlife logo

What Really Happens When Your Worst Case Scenario Actually Happens?

Going Through a Traumatic Event

By Miranda MuirheadPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
Like

We've all thought of the worse case scenarios in our head. About our love one dying, getting into an accident, or falling ill. We even had these thoughts with our family pet. These thoughts, did you cry? Did you care? Or did you not feel anything all? I will be sharing my experience. My worse case scenario actually happened to me...

It started like any other normal day. Woke up, brewed my coffee, fed my child, and fed my animals. It was my husband's off day that day and we had planned on going to the beach that day to get away from everything. So we went on with our normal morning routine. Gave my child a bath, dressed her and set her in the bouncer to watch TV with her dad while I made my cup of coffee and let the dog outside to use the restroom. Everything was great...

It wasn't until we tried to get our dog inside. We called for her but she never came. Here recently, she has been very hard headed and hasn't been wanting to listen. She was 7-years-old, which is old in dog years, maybe she didnt hear us? So we kept calling for her and waiting for her to run up and she never ran up. Then something happened that forever changed me.

A truck stopped in front of our house and they were pointing at something on the side of the road and the first thing my husband said was "go inside." When he said that, I already knew but I couldn't move. I stood there and watched my husband walk to the road. As I was watching him walk to the road, I thought I saw my dog limping. I had some hope and thought, maybe her leg is just broken. I can take her to the vet. She will be okay...

It was like my body went into autopilot. I started towards the road and when I made it halfway to the road, I saw her laying there and everything went into slow motion. I watched my husband move her away from the road by her collar. I covered my face and started crying.

I wouldn't call it a motherly instinct, but it was very close to that. I started running towards her. Still no control over my body, everything was a blur, except her. I wanted to hold her, see if she was breathing, anything... I almost made it to her before my husband stopped me and was pushing me backwards towards the house. I fought him, I wanted to be next to her and he was pushing me away, my legs gave out and I sat there and cried. My husband had to carry me inside.

As I sat on the couch while he went and dug the hole, I felt numb. I couldn't move. I couldn't cry. There was nothing. I felt empty. I finally got up and put my shoes on and walked behind the house where he dug the hole. I had sat on the couch for a long time and thought he had plenty of time to dig the hole and already have her buried. But when I walked up to him, he was digging the hole still. I asked where she was and he pointed at her. I sat beside her and I kept petting her and talking to her. There were no tears. I kept asking her, why can't you just listen? I kept telling her it was okay and I sat with her for awhile, just petting her.

After a while I walked back to the house and not too long after that, my husband came in and handed me her collar. I laid in my bed holding her collar and I lost it. I cried for over two hours. My husband left me alone and took care of our child and let me deal with it in my own way... When I finally stopped crying, it felt like something had snapped.

I got off my bed and out her collar up and I went into the restroom and washed my face and got dressed. We had to run errands before we were supposed to go to the beach. I told my husband to get dressed, and we had to go get food for the baby. I didn't feel like the same person anymore. I felt empty. I didn't cry for the rest of that day. I hardly even talked.

A little about me, I'm a happy person. I'm always laughing, I always have a smile on my face, and I always shared my thoughts. But it was like that person was gone. I closed off my emotions and practically shut down. To this day, I'm this "new person." I go to work and put on a fake smile, a fake personality. When I get home, I have to force myself to go inside my house. And when I walk in, I shut down. I don't talk, I don't eat, and I just sit there and cry.

Losing my dog was and is extremely painful and it shattered my heart. I know in time it will get easier and I'll work through it, but I know it will never get better. Needless to say, when my worse case scenario happened, I went into shock. I became someone I've never been before. I've sheltered my emotions and I dont share my feelings with anyone, not even my husband.

Of course, every person is different so their reactions will be different when the worse case scenario happens. But how do you think you would handle it? Have you faced your worse case scenario? Who are you now, compared to then? This feeling, I would never wish on my worst enemy, but I wish they knew how it feels to have something so valuable taken by someone so careless...

dog
Like

About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.