Omar's Diary to 19 July, 2019

Holidays, injections, globalism and sausages

By Alan RussellPublished 5 years ago • 4 min read

At last, the current punishingly oppressive heat and humidity have ended this evening, Friday 19 July, with the arrival much cooler air and heavy rain. That is until the next hot spell forecast for the middle of next week.

Our holiday at The Hotel Catifornia is now imminent. Did you notice my subtle play on words there referring to the classic song by The Eagles? Hotel California, Hotel Catifornia? Mitzi and I will not be going there to remember or forget. No, we will be going there for a much needed break from Omar Towers and more importantly to avoid the trade people booked to come in while we are away.

In preparation for our vacation, both of us were indelicately bundled into our respective travel pods last night and taken to our private medical centre for some injections.

At the centre, the doctor was very kind and made a big fuss of both of us. Ever the gentleman, I insisted that Mitzi was looked after before me. She was fussed over and admired for her age, best estimate is fourteen, and condition. Her teeth were in good condition, and there was no need for her to undergo the scale and polish procedure I went through about two weeks ago. I have never seen her floss, so it seems most unfair.

Then it was my turn. I refused to leave my pod voluntarily and played extremely hard to get. At one point Man Servant suggested to the doctor that if she rattled the wrappings from Mitzi’s injections, I might think it was a packet of Dreamies and come out willingly. Please, I am not that stupid. So, in the end, Man Servant had to dismantle the entire pod before I could be treated. What is even more amusing is that he is not the most practical member of his species and I had great pleasure watching him put it all back together again.

The good news for me from this visit is that I have lost half a kilo since my last visit nearly two weeks ago.

Our reading material for the weekend consisted of the Financial Times and The Economist. On the opinion page of the Financial Times was a second lead article by the servant Martin Wolf. He made the case for "sane globalism." This the process by which servants from different countries not only trade with each other freely but also exchange knowledge and ideals rather than turning inwards and blaming outsiders. Globalism is not a 20th and 21st-century phenomena. It has been taking place over millennia with evidence of trade taking place between Arabs and Europeans. And how knowledge gained in Baghdad was sought after in the learned centres of Greece and the Roman Empire.

My favourite foods are Dreamies and Sheba. Both of them are made by a company named "Mars UK Petcare" whose head office is located in America. That is just how the company is set up and before even considering where all the ingredients come from. So, even felines such as myself and Mitzi find that we are also part of this process of globalism.

I have noticed lately that the fourth or fifth leader in The Economist is written with humour, irony and with a certain amount of tongue in cheek prose. This must be something to do with the silly season in the UK during the fetid months of summer. The fifth leader this week, it was all about "sausages" and their linguistic references across Europe. How linguistic purists and the vested interests of the meat industry are trying to stop the use of product names that were for traditional meat products being used for non-meat products. As they say, escallops should be made from chicken or veal, but if they are made from non-meat products, then they should not be able to be called "escallops?"

One could say "things went from bad to wurst," but it was light relief from the other leaders about Iran, climate change and democracy in Turkey.

BREAKING NEWS—while Man Servant and I were preparing this diary, we heard that finally a new servant has been appointed to look after Larry at 10 Downing Street. As very much anticipated, it is a servant named Boris Johnson.

Larry, you are more than welcome to move in with Mitzi and I here at Omar Towers if things get to chaotic for you. I have even completed your membership application for Tiny’s Club for you to sign when you arrive.