If Only I Could Tell You

If I could only tell you how much you've made my life better; all of those wet kisses that I used to wipe off I now cherish. How just walking you every day after school gave me time to think and relax during the bad times.

If I could only tell you that you're the cutest girl. I know people look at you and think you're mean, just because you have a beautiful midnight black face and you look like a pit. They don't know how you wouldn't hurt a fly and how you're scared of kazoos and balloons. You want to be their friend anyway, which is admirable.

If I could only tell you that you've kept me safe. I knew that as long as I had you by my side no one would try and approach me. You saved me, girl, more than once. You kept all of us safe with your deep bark, and thankfully it was worse than your bite. The only thing anyone had to worry about would be to be licked to death by you.

If I could only tell you that I'm sorry I have to be away; I need to make a life for myself, but that doesn't mean I don't love you. With every fiber in me, I wish I was allowed to take you with me—give you walks and pet you on the ground while I studied. You always calmed me down, girl.

If only I could tell you that your dog food isn't all that bad. Although I do like spoiling you with huge globs of peanut butter that you get all over your cute little snout. Thanks for helping me finish dinner all those years.

If only I could tell you that those summers at the lake were the best. I'm finally glad you got over your fear of water even though you still hate baths. I know you were just worried about all of us as you barked while we ran and jumped off the dock; that's your job—to protect your kids.

If only I could tell you that I know your bones hurt, they just don't allow you to run like you used to. You have to keep them moving, girl, it'll help them, I promise. I know you want to go further than just the block, but you can't tire yourself out too much.

If only you understood when I tell you that I love you and you're the greatest girl. You fueled my passion, which is now going to carry me through the rest of my life.

I remembered when we brought you home in a little pink blanket. Your paws were too big and your brindled fur covered you in rolls. I remember you tearing up the ugly green leather couch we had, and clinging to you crying that if Dad got rid of you that he'd have to go through me.

If only I could tell you how much you mean to me and how much I love you. You're the best dog and I love, love, love you.