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Cat Flap Diaries

Cat Herding as a (Kind of) Vocation

By SusieSquirrel Moon GazerPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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I am a mom to three boy cats, all of whom adopted me on separate occasions, obviously. They didn't all rock up together one day asking if there may be any room at the inn with the possibility of some nosh thrown in, if one might be so kind. No, they all arrived at different times but all with one sole purpose in mind, to claim me as their human.

The three in question are Petey, he moved in first, then Pip who decided he preferred me to his former humans who just happened to be my neighbours and last but by no means least, Timmy Toe Beans who decided I had passed his assessment as potential cat mom and moved in forthwith a few years back.

They're all very different, other than the fact they're all boys, with their own unique personalities and quirks. They can and indeed, they do drive me nuts but I wouldn't be without them, no siree Bob!

Petey is a bit of an odd bod. He tends to hold back and doesn't really demand a lot of attention other than expecting me to open the cat flap for him to go out, should I be in situ, and will shout at me until I damn well do his bidding, thank you very much. Petey's other names are Stinky Pete, he used to like to spray inside the house... A LOT, Renton because he's the skinniest of the three and lastly Poppadom Pete. This is down to a friend and I imbibing a few sherries the one evening and thinking it hilariously funny to sing Poppadom Pete to him to the tune of "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna. Don't judge me, OK!

Pip aka Lord Pippington of Pawsbury so called because he likes to think he's in charge... of EVERYTHING, Begby because he bullies the other two and Twinkle Toes, because for a big lad, he's actually quite light on his feet, used to live at my neighbour's but got fed up with them going away so, as I used to feed him for them, he decided he was going to stay with me instead. It worked out quite well really as they had another cat at the time and he wasn't too happy about Pip being there. So he moved in with me on a permanent basis. Winner, winner Whiskas dinner!

Now, Timmy is so called as he was incredibly timid when he first rocked up and very nearly swiped my hand off the first time I managed to get close enough to pet him. I let him come to me in his own time after that. Cats will not be rushed. Timmy then morphed into Timmy Toe Beans as I saw something on Facebook that called the pads on their paws toe beans. I just thought it was cute and I sometimes called him Timmy Toes anyway so it was a natural progression, I found. He also gets called Timbies and Sickboy. The latter is rather unfortunate, even though the three together are Renton, Begby, and Sickboy. I thank you!

No, Timmy has had two very severe bouts of Hepatic Lipidosis (fatty liver disease to you and me) this last year and he has been doing extremely poorly with it. I thought I was going to lose him both times. But, and I say this with everything crossed, he seems to be getting better. He's certainly a lot better than he was and he's even regained some of his feistiness thankfully. However, this condition can flare up at any time for even the slightest of reasons so I shall have to be vigilant. It's a very costly condition to treat and it wasn't long before I was up to my £1000 limit on my insurance. He's not 100% out of the woods yet so I'm hoping and praying to all the celestial beings, angels, and aliens if needs be, that he's going to keep improving now.

I cat herd every day and if I'm not opening the cat flap at Pete's behest, I'm putting something else down for him to eat as he's a fussy eater and many a time he's turned his nose up at what's on the menu. It's a war of attrition as he's THE most stubborn cat I've ever known. If he doesn't want it, he will not eat it and I end up chucking what he doesn't want out for the foxes so I guess at least they get something out of it. Pete ALWAYS wins. Pip isn't so fussy thankfully and will generally shove his mush into the trough regardless of the contents within. Timmy I have to be careful with as even a slight change in his diet could bring on a bout of his condition again. I've only got to step foot into the kitchen and there they all are, circling like vultures. Actually, prowling like a pride of lions after their prey is probably the most appropriate analogy in this instance, so I'm going to stick with that one.

So them's ma boys. Love them all dearly and if cat herding were indeed my vocation I'd be rich, rich beyond my wildest dreams. What I lack in pennies though, I absolutely make up for in kitty cuddles and THAT is priceless.

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About the Creator

SusieSquirrel Moon Gazer

I'm a pescatarian cat herder, exploring the great tundra of the Universe. I like wine.

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