A Letter for My Service Dog

Dear Kodiak,

Since you came into my life six months ago, you have been nothing short of a godsend. When my seizures took my independence, you gave me stability. When that weird guy came in that I didn't know, but that slowly reminded me more and more of my past and scared me, you were there to pull me back from flashbacks and nightmares and back into normalcy.

There is nothing that I can do, nothing I can say, that can fully express how you have changed my life, so I'll write it here and tell everyone else how amazing you are.

You are the smile that wakes me up in the morning, the comforting heat and weight that grounds me when my feet are in the stratosphere. You are my best friend, my protection, my kids' babysitter when I'm not all here. You saved my life when I felt I had nothing to live for, and even though you do the stupidest of things sometimes, I love you.

Despite how you get so anxious when I have to leave you behind that you dive for diapers in order to feel comforted. Despite how you steal your sister's food cans out of the recycling because they needed to be cleaned. Despite how you are just SO EXCITED to meet every dog that you see, even when you're working. Despite how you're so vocal with everyone, except when I ask you to sing. Despite how you sometimes run over the baby because you didn't see him, and despite how you struggle with letting me brush you and I'm afraid one day your cries will make someone call the cops.

You are my service dog, and I want nothing more than to give you the best because that's what you deserve.

And I'm sorry that I can't always do that for you. I'm sorry that sometimes you've had to go without as much food as you need because I couldn't afford more and we had to make it last until our next paycheck. I'm sorry I can't always take you with me because there isn't enough room. I'm sorry that I reprimand you sometimes, even when you're trying your best, and I'm sorry that I get frustrated sometimes. I'm sorry I don't always have the energy to walk, and I'm sorry that you don't get to work as much because it makes me too anxious still. I'm sorry that you don't have the best treats and that I can't afford the best food for you. I'm sorry that I am not the perfect owner you deserve, and I'm sorry that you feel the need to be afraid of me sometimes. But I can promise you this;

I promise I will never hurt you on purpose. I promise that I will love you and provide for you the best that I can. I promise that we will never leave you, we will never give you up, and you will never be left wondering what happened and what you did wrong. I promise that you never have to be afraid.

I may not be the owner you deserve, but I promise I will always be the best owner I can be. You have changed my life and made it so much better.

Because of you, I can walk by myself, I can watch my kids on my own, I can feel secure in public, and I can live.

For that, I thank you.

Sincerely,

Your Owner