10 Things - A Dog's Life

Milo, my cavalier, is three this year—at the very end of the year none the less. He's grown so much since I got him back in June of 2015—he was just six months old, full of excitement, cuddles, and not to mention his adoring love for my arm.

Many people will tell you that the positives of owning a dog are unlimited and this is true. They will also tell you that sometimes their little fur-babies can be monsters. Yes, monsters. Not the kind that appear in children's books that tend to be a purple or green colour no no, these are the kinds that wake you from your slumber by licking inside your mouth.

Somethings got me thinking what were the honest good points and somewhat... monstrous points of owning a pup...

1. Personal space, I'm not really one for it.

Growing up whilst sharing a room with my older sister and then later looking after little Buffy — there was no space for personal space. I prefer the company of Milo but if you're the type that prefers to go to bed alone, pet free, prefers to pee in peace, without a small fur pet barking at your ankles because he "JUST MUST HAVE THAT EMPTY TOILET ROLL TUBE RIGHT NOW!" or better yet you want the full sofa to yourself without a living hot water bottle lying over your thighs and only sometimes drooling on your clothes... then maybe a pet budgie is the way to go for you.

2. Exercise

Walks? Nah. I'd rather have been sitting on the sofa and eating my weight in Doritos. With a pet that requires exercise comes the owner getting exercise. It's also a nice way to top up a tan, meet other people walking their dogs, listen to some music, and boost your Vitamin D intake. But I'm not going to lie — exercising with dogs comes with risks. For starters there's a good 80% chance** during summer that you'll be innocently walking Bono (that's your dog by the way) and a bee will fly towards your head at the speed of how you made a beeline for that buffet at Auntie Sheila's wedding. And that was fast. You also have the mud to deal with come autumn and the ice to contend with come winter. Skiing anyone?

**Totally made up statistic.

3. Beware of the growlers.

You know when you see parents in the street trying with all their might to keep their whits about them, they're trying so hard not to just have a tantrum themselves and collapse onto the ground next to little Jimmy —who is also having his own tantrum because he wanted that toy and he sure as heck wasn't going to give up on it without a fight? There tends to be a lot of people around when that happens and whilst many will pull sympathetic faces or even pretend that they are unable to see the episode in front of them there is also the few that will tut, shake their heads, or worse they'll comment on how they "...would not let my {their} child act like that in public!".... those people have relatives that do the exact same thing at parks when your dog barks at a magpie or does a poo on the path. Now to be fair, if your dog does a poop on the path and you continue to walk on, you probably do deserve the growl. We've all been victims of standing in it and having to do that *shuffle, dance, wipe* move on the grass. Or worse, not noticing it until you've been home for twenty minutes and already trailed it through various rooms. If you don't want to pick up poop then don't get a dog. And on that note...

4. Poo

Oh the poo. As a puppy, Milo had a sensitive stomach. Some days he'd be great and fire them out like sausages then other days you'd try walk a hundred yards behind him for fear of a poonami shooting out at you. You do get used to it, which is a somewhat odd statement I know. But you honestly do, it's not pleasant and I most definitely would not starting picking up random poops in the street as a hobby (although this guy didn't do too badly). I always carry a bottle of water with me for that purpose, it's best to splash it with some water if it's a bad one instead of just walking away so some random can walk it back into Aunt Doris' and get it all over her white carpet. (Who has a white carpet anyway?)

5. Snoring

If your pooch is of the "small nose" variety (see King Charles, Boston Terriers, Lhasa Apsos, Shih tzus, pugs...) then accepting that you will never sleep in complete silence again is just one of those things. You'll also learn to love television subtitles and people asking you whilst you're on the phone what that "noise" is. Yes, it's my dog and he's sleeping. Not all dogs snore, but the majority with the ability to do so (100% of them) do. At the beginning I couldn't cope with it, he would wake me from my slumber with what felt like the room shaking, the world ending and the odd smell of hot dog treats. Needless to say he does look like he's having a brilliant sleep, which is surprising giving that when I sneeze it wakes him up but an extremely loud snore that I am pretty confident my neighbours can hear? Nothing.

6. Dog Hair

Not all dogs cast, but just like humans with long-ish hair we tend to leave a trail that falls off our heads. I tend to brush and vacuum my living-room carpet numerous times per week and each time collecting enough hair to make a full winter coat for a Chihuahua. You can invest in things like the FURminator or a lint roller which have great reviews, but none the less don't expect to never see a hair again since a dog is covered in hair and without being gross (this is pretty gross) according to fact website Eszlinger, humans "...shed about 600,000 particles of skin every hour - about 1.5 pounds a year. By 70 years of age, an average person will have lost 105 pounds of skin. Humans shed and re-grow outer skin cells about every 27 days — almost 1,000 new skins in a lifetime." So yeah, if we can't keep skin particles to ourselves, you can't expect your Fred to keep his fur.

7. Cleaner of Dropped Foods

If you have one of those people in your life that leaves a trail of food wherever they go (yes, that would be me), dogs work as great hoovers. You just need to be careful on what it is you drop. Some apple? Sweet! A piece of cheese? Greeeeeat. A bar of dark chocolate? Call the vet.

8. Obey meal times.

Not all dogs have meal times, Milo doesn't, but I know a lot have planned out a time schedule so they know when to feed their little ones. And believe me when I say if you start this rule you will have to stick to this rule. Even if it means 6am feeds on a Saturday he will be letting you know he is hungry!

9. Phone Storage

I know, it sounds like an odd one to have on a dog list but it's valid. If you are anything like the majority of the pup-ulation (see what I did there?) then if you own a pooch it's pretty much guaranteed your phone will be full of pictures of him/her. And not just one smiling photo, no no. It'll be numerous photos of the same position, but his face will change expression or he'll tilt his head in two of them... oh just so cute that we have to keep them all! Don't be fussy, just invest in a USB.

10. Happiness

It's hard to be grumpy when you have a dog on your knee licking your chin and pawing at your neck. Okay if it were a husky with sharp claws then maybe it would be less cute and more a tad painful, but the point of the post is that dogs are dogs. They are one of the most precious gifts I honestly believe a person can receive whether bought for them or by them. There is a reason that it is often quoted, "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself" and that is because dogs make the world go round. On that note, it helps if you keep biscuits on your person.