Struggles

Hi there,

My name is Miranda Reed. My life hasn’t been easy. I’ve had many ups and downs. The hardest thing I have ever dealt with by far is losing my home of the past almost four years. I also spent a big chunk of my childhood in this home as well. I couldn’t afford insurance so everything is gone, and on top of it they didn’t do an investigation, because I didn’t have insurance. I will never know what happened to my home or why it started on fire. My boyfriend had been living with me for about a year now as well in this home. We had started our own little family into what had once just been mine. We had gotten a puppy for him and a kitten for myself. I had already had a dog that I took in from a family member who no longer wanted him. I have two children of my own. I was raising them alone and had been for a long time-prior to my boyfriend stepping in. My daughter just turned eight at beginning of the month, she had a huge pool, party tons of gifts and money given, which all were lost. My son's birthday is at the end of the same month and I had all his gifts ready and they all have been lost as well. The hardest part though, by far, is losing those animals that had made our home that much more of a home. I know that a lot of people have had house fires and know where I am coming from. I just am so down about it. My community, family, and close friends have come together and helped so much. I’m blessed. Truely. We raised a good chunk to buy a new home but still need funds to move the home to our land. We just spent all of which we had raised for the demolition. It is really hard going on when you have nothing going. I stay strong for my kids, I don’t let them see how broken I am. I show them I’m staying strong even though I’m so very broken on the inside. They won’t see that though. They will see me overcome this like I have everything else that has been thrown my way so far. I’m just writing this to more so get this out of me. I don’t necessarily think it’ll help, but it may. Whose to say. I never in a million years thought this would happen to me. Life truly does test you in all ways. I think I’ve had more than enough now though. I scroll through my photos and weep in sorrow for our fur babies that didn’t make it. I pray the smoke got them and they didn’t suffer. They hadn’t even had a full life. The puppy and kitten weren’t even a year old. The dog I had prior was beat before coming to live with my family and then I took him from them. He had a good life before going, though. They all did. I just wish they could have had a longer one. They were so unique and special. I don’t know if we will ever find others like them. It breaks my heart. I miss them so much and my kids tear up about them often. They will be forever missed. The hardest part is how close my kids and these animals were. I am a huge picture-taker and I’m very grateful for it. I have so many photos to cherish forever. I lost so much in this fire. Everything since my daughter was born and all school projects and craft we had done together. We did so many crafts and handprints each year. I had a wall for their growths as well. It hurts, more than people know. I, just the other day, broke down in a store because I was going to grab treats for my animals and it hit that I no longer had them in my life to give them anything. Ever again. I took their little charred and burned bodies out of the rubble of the home and cried doing so, it’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Hands down. We buried them. I hope they are at peace. That’s all I want for them. I just hope they weren’t wondering where we were and why we weren’t there for them. I lay here writing this out and crying as I do so, it hurts my heart. I miss them so much. I’m thankful my family is okay, but they were also my family and I failed them. I feel like I failed everyone. Please feel free to share or whatever you want with this passage. It’s out there for everyone to see. I hope everyone thinks about this though. Don’t ever take things for granted. You seriously never know when things can change or end. Life is precious so please cherish it. Give back to others, help anyone you can. Always be kind to each other. Everyone have a good day. Until next time.