Losing a Friend

Our family has always had a dog. Even before I was born, my father had a dog named Bear. I grew up with him. He was half wolf, half sheepdog. He was all white and fluffy but he had the body of a wolf.

I thought of him as a brother (even though I have a little brother and sister). I have just always had a special connection with dogs. All dogs. As we grew up, he got old and I got older and wanted to be with friends. One day, I came home from school and he was gone and all of his things were gone, and I knew what happened because I had overheard my parents once talking about it.

I was so mad at them because I didn't get to say goodbye and I remember not being nice to him that morning, so when he was gone, it was hard—really hard—but I was able to get past being mad at my parents. But eventually, I understood it needed to be done for him. He was old—16 when he passed, and I swore I would never take a dog for granted again.

Then my family got another dog a few years later. My mom and I went and picked him out at my friend's house. I chose him because all the other puppies ran away to their mom and he ran to me, so I picked him up and never put him down. We did everything together. I was 16 when we got him and I had dropped out of school, so I spent all my days with him. We would sleep on the couch together, go for walks, play in the yard, and all kinds of stuff. I grew up with him. When I moved out, I didn't take him, but I always went to see him.

Eventually, my parents split up and my mom took him and she kept him a few years when I was around 23 or 24. She said she was no longer able to keep him (he was eight years old at that point) and she wanted to give him up. I said absolutely not and took him in right away. He was my best friend. When I wasn't at work, he went everywhere I went. He was always with me. Then he started to look very sick at around ten years old, so I took him to the vet and was told that my best friend, my dog Buster, had cancer and needed to have his toe and half a foot removed. I put together $3000 that my family did not help with in the least and I got him that operation.

He was so much better. He was running and jumping again, he was playful and happy. I knew it was worth it. Also, because of what had happened to my other dog, I knew not to take him for granted. He would still get tumors that would open and close and I would have to clean and bandage him, but it was so worth it for me. I would do it all the time and he was not in pain, so I just adjusted to taking care of him like that.

I was able to keep my best friend pain-free and happy until this January fifth at 6:52 PM when my boy passed away with all of his family around him.

I knew from the day he had his first operation that we did not have much time. I did not think I was going to get seven more years but I did.

I was able to give him everything; walks in the park, the dog park, his sister, Bella (I adopted her when he was ten she was two and it made him younger for a few years—more like a puppy. It was so cute), Wednesday, his cat sister he knew since he was five, we would go to the beach and he would get all the love you could ask for from strangers because he was so handsome.

They came everywhere with me, my dogs. Anywhere I was, you could bet I was with my dogs. I wanted to write this to say that it is hard, it is so hard to decide when to end the life of your best friend, but I can say they do tell you when it's time.

I sat with my dog a month before we had to let him go and we sat for an hour looking into each other's eyes and the cat was running around and Bella was chasing Wednesday, but he never broke eye contact with me and when I started crying, he leaned forward and licked my tears and then my hands, as if to say "It's OK, I know its time and I'm OK."

It has only been a few weeks and I still feel him here. Bella took three days to grieve and then she started to get better. However, no matter how sad I am, I know I did the right thing for him and for myself because I never took him for granted. I always gave him everything and anything he could have needed.

Yes, it is so hard to lose a loved one & best friend, but in the end, if they are in pain, you need to let them go. No matter how hard it is for you, think of them and know they will tell you when it's time.