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Bailey

My cat, my oh so lovely cat...

By Maranda CarenePublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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Bailey relaxing on a Sunday afternoon.

So let me start out with I LOVE ANIMALS, and actually have a ton... even exotics that when I tell people they're like, "Shut up you do not own one of those." Then I have to pull the old phone out to prove it but anyways. Animals, they do no wrong... except Bailey. Don't get me wrong, I love Bay. He is one of my male cats, the oldest one. He is so loving, really a great cuddler and always has to be by me which is great until he's under my feet or when he's meowing non-stop because I won't make eye contact with him or you know do something crazy like sleep in. I have three other cats (and just lost one) and Bailey is the only one that when I adopted him he was declawed. I don't personally declaw my cats... I hate it... but anywho Bailey gets picked on by all my cats because he is so nosey and the others don't like him all up in their faces 24/7 but that doesn't stop Bailey!

Everyone that meets Bailey falls in love. Now Bailey is a different type of cat: he loves hugs, he loves to be held and loves to be pet. The little guy even loves to SHIT OUTSIDE THE LITTER BOX. I mean COME ON Bailey! The cat has freaking talent, misses the whole litter box and SHITS ON THE SMALL 1/4 INCH SIDE. HOW?! Sometimes he even uses it as a decoration for the litter box entrance, drapes it over the side. Other times he just lets it fall, and of course it falls on the ground outside of the litter box. How is this possible Bailey? He leaves it there too, normally my cats try to you know cover it up. Not Bailey. Even when he makes it inside the litter box he still leaves it out in the open nice and fresh for the whole house to smell.

Oh Bailey, my sweet, sweet Bailey. He also picked up a new trick last week. PEEING ON THE TABLE. God forbid I skip a litter box day, he just unleashes on the table. Even when I keep up with the litter boxes daily (I have four, for four cats), HE STILL GETs THE IDEA TO PEE ON THE TABLE. MY KITCHEN TABLE. WHERE. I. EAT. OH BAILEY. Then my other male cat, Ruutu, comes alone and tries to clean it up. All efforts appreciated Ruutu, BUT YOU ARE MAKING IT WORSE! So now the piss is on the table, nice and spread out, and on Ruutu's paws to run around the house and get on everything. God life is great. Did I mention I also feed my cats on this same table? So now all 4 cats, if they want to eat, have to step in the PISS OF BAILEY. Jesus, take the wheel and steer Bailey to the litter box PLEASE. I mean like nothing health wise is wrong with him, he is just a unique individual.

You wanna know how I figured out it was Bailey? I feel so bad for it. I took my newest cat (who I at the time thought was the culprit), she is a female named Oduya (mom named her.) So I put her in the garage with a litter box while I was at work... came home she went in the litter box... thought it was solved... walked into the house PISS ON THE TABLE. Now I was thinking that it was a female cat because normally when my male cats go in a litter box with low sides they pee on the wall so how could they get it in a perfect puddle on the table? My next step was to apologize to Oduya, bring her back inside and put her in one of the bedrooms to ensure it wasn't her... Now I still thought it was a female so I took my other female cat, Avy, and put her in the room with Oduya... They don't like each other too much so getting them in the same room wasn't easy on me. Once they were in there together they were cuddling and doing cat things. So I leave for work with both females in the room and the males free to roam. Come home. This time they got clever with it... PEED ON MY PLACEMAT. By this time I was furious. I knew it couldn't have been Ruutu so I threw Bailey in the room with the females the next day. So I got to work like normal and come home TO A CLEAN TABLE. Still smells like pee though. I know, not a great story, but it's my story on how I figured out my cat was peeing on my table.

Side note: Anyone have a free table? Mine smells like cat pee...

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About the Creator

Maranda Carene

I have too many animals, anxiety and depression. Life is good.

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